True Confessions of a Loving Soul
by MedusaMyLove
Summary: Just take Cris's honesty and some med's to lose the inhibitions... *disclaimer-do not own characters* rewrite of Mer's appy seen of season 1 or 2
1. Chapter 1

Sex With George O'Malley- Or True Confessions of a Loving Soul.

The morning of her appendectomy, Cristina made Meredith come to the hospital and stand guard. Meredith had seen the necessity of her doing so, when she was reminded of her behaviour, when _she_ had had _her _appendectomy.

It had been a little.., unguarded, to say the least.

So she'd come over at the break of dawn, to see Cristina get anaesthetised. And now her friend was staring in the air, waiting for the effects to kick in, while she read the morning paper. In the ultimate sacrifice, she wasn't even drinking coffee, in sympathy with her friend's forced sobriety.

They looked up at a knock on the door, and saw Owen walk in. "Good Morning dr. Grey, Good Morning Cristina". At the last word, his look got very soft and worried. He made his way to the bed, sitting down on the edge, beside her. "How are you feeling?", his eyes were scanning her face for any signs of stress, but he knew _he_ was the one with the anxiety.

She opened her mouth long enough to utter "Good", before pressing her lips firmly together again. He stared with some wonder, "are you nervous?". "No", again with the monosyllabic answers. "Are you mad?', he tried. Her eyes turned to Meredith for help, who started speaking. "She can't talk, not today". "She's all doped up, and the last time _I_ got doped up for my appy, I kind of told Derek and this other guy I was dating then, about the disastrous sex with George, while George was in the room". Realising what she had just told him, she grimaced and added, "apparently, I shouldn't be talking today either".

With a laugh, Owen turned to Cristina again, taking her hand. These two were really something. "So, you're afraid you'll tell me all about your sexual encounters with O'Malley?". He could only joke about that because it was _O'Malley_ they were talking about. And even so, he felt a little pang, as he said the words.

Cristina just rolled her eyes and kept silent. That made him think, "I wonder what secret you're afraid of revealing". He'd meant it as a joke, but from the way her eyes widened, he could tell he'd hit a nerve. With a big grin, he leaned down and kissed her firmly. "I'll be back later, be good!". He left the room, laughing at their scandalized reactions.

****

Bailey, the Chief and Meredith were already there when he came back. He walked in without interrupting and leaned against the wall, shooting Cris a little smile. Bailey was talking, explaining the proceedings. "with the weaker spot that was left after the surgery for the entopic pregnancy , it will probably…". She stopped talking as she saw the Chief and Meredith looking at something behind her, aghast!.

"Hell**o**o!". This from Cristina, "Some doctor-patient confidentiality would be nice here!"

Miranda frowned, not understanding. "What do you mean?, we were all here, we all _know.."_

But she was interrupted, "Yeah!, but _he_ doesn't!". And, turning around, her eyes landed on a stone-faced Dr. Hunt.

"Oh no!", turning back to Cristina she began to stammer her apologies, feeling dreadful.

"It's o.k", Cristina waved her hand. "You remember in my first year when I told that guy he had syf, in front of his mom? " she didn't wait for an answer. "So you tell the love of my life I was pregnant and lost a tube, we all make mistakes".

Meredith turned a bright red now, the Chief looking as if he was hearing a foreign language, Owen's eyes suddenly blazing very blue.

Cristina was still looking at Bailey though, "You remember?". Bailey's chin was now almost on her chest and she was giving her the unwavering stare, from right under her eyebrows. "Yes, I remember", but that didn't shut Cristina up, who nodded happily, smiling at the room.

"We all make mistakes", then, almost as an afterthought she added; "just shut up about the being engaged and left before the altar, o.k?". "I'm still trying to come up with a way to tell Owen". She was deep in thought now, brow furrowed, in her own little bubble. "I was thinking I'd work it into a proposal of my own", she smiled up at Meredith. "You think that would work?'. Interpreting the panicky look in the green eyes as disapproval, she looked to bailey for support, and was met with The Stare again. "What?!, that would totally work!". The Chief didn't meet her eyes, and so, looking for some support, subject long forgotten she spotted Owen and asked him too; "that would work, right?".

The rest of the company waited for his reaction, not knowing what to do or say.

He just smiled and sat own on the bed, stroking her hand. "That would totally work". And she smiled, pleased.

Heaving a big breath she whined, "I _so_ need to get surgery", "no wonder we're number twelve, the doctors hand out personal information like candy, and you have to wait for hours!".

Bailey stifled an exclamation, and had to turn her face away. The Chief gasped for air and Meredith nearly choked on a laughing fit. But Owen just kept looking at her face, the worry in his eyes now more pronounced.

"I'll take you up, o.k?", she nodded, then said, "Don't look though, I don't want this to be the first time you see me naked". Another pronounced silence from the rest of the room.

"No looking, I promise". He smiled and added, "I'll keep my eyes closed, and ask Dr. grey to tell me what's going on, o.k?". he shot a quick look at Meredith, who nodded her agreement.

The Chief looked at the couple on the bed in wonder. "The love of my life?!". Did he just hear Yang consider marriage to a man that had never seen her naked?

Of course that was very proper, but he still felt as if he'd been hit over the head. Kind of Dazed. He had to give it to Yang, she had balls of steel, to be getting back in the saddle so soon after that wedding crash.

Owen was looking at Cristina again, willing her to be alright, to get through this safe. He couldn't even _think_ about complications. Some of his feelings must have made it through the haze of the drugs because she, very carefully, put the cold fingers of one hand against his cheek, stroking his face. "I love you, don't be scared".

The three other people in the room held their breath, each one conscious of witnessing something as rare as it was beautiful. Averting their eyes to give them some privacy.

He took her fingers and pressed a warm kiss on them, "I love you too". "I won't be scared if you promise you'll be back as soon as you can". He leaned over and pressed a soft, lingering kiss on her lips., then got up and started to push her bed towards the door. "Let's go".


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Though Little Things

They had gone up to the OR and Owen had kissed the unconscious Cristina, without minding any of the people around them. Watching, as she was wheeled through the doors. He and Meredith wanted to make their way to the gallery but were stopped by Bailey, standing squarely in the middle of the hall.

"I've told you this before Grey", her look moved over Owen, and then back to Meredith again. "She is your friend, and she has a right to privacy in this hospital". Straitening up, she gave a irritated jerk of her head, piercing look landing on Owen again. "I may have been caught unawares earlier, but that is not happening again". Forestalling the reaction she saw on their faces she continued, "No, an unspoken agreement to keep informed via Dr. Grey is _not_ enough!".

Owen knew she was right, Cristina had been under influence after all. He also knew this coming hour was going to rip him to pieces. If he let it.

He just didn't know if he could stop that from happening.

Bailey could see it in his eyes, the raging fear. She liked this man, what she knew of him, she respected and liked. As for what she had just seen between him and Cristina.., she would have sworn it to be impossible, had she not seen it with her own eyes. Those two.., those two loved each other. And it was clear the thought of losing her, of something going wrong, was driving him out of his mind with fear.

She looked at Meredith, "Why don't you two go up to the cafeteria and get some breakfast, it's still early". Turning to Owen, she looked at him encouragingly, "I'll give you an update in half an hour and I'll know where to find you if there's news before then". She saw him struggle, looking down, uncertain whether he could get his feet to move away. "She's my girl too, you know? ". Her voice was warm now, "She was my intern, I'll take good care of her, the best".

His eyes found hers and he considered for a moment, seeming to way her in his mind. Then he nodded, "Half an hour, I'll be here", his voice come out croaky and he gave the tiniest of smiles at the sound of it. Bailey nodded too, then, with a look at Meredith, she turned and disappeared through the doors.

Taking a deep breath, Owen turned around and faced Meredith Grey. She was looking at him with a hesitant expression on her face, and he tried to smile but felt his lips pull into a grimace.

That seemed to seal the deal for her somehow. "She'll be fine, let's get some coffee". She turned around but and waited for him to come to her side before walking off to the place with the food together.

****

They'd gotten coffee and taken a table along the wall. Meredith could feel his growing tension and heard Cristina's words from a few minutes earlier repeat in her head, calling him the love of her life. She had known something was up, but she'd expected dirty sex, followed by some darkness and lots of twists, that could maybe lead to something resembling a relationship. Some day, far in the future. To hear her friend contemplate marriage, even in that druggie, joking way, to hear her tell this man she loved him as if it was the most natural thing in the world….had her wondering who, exactly, was on drugs here?

Of course it didn't have to mean that the world was coming to an end, but she'd be keeping her eyes open! The first frog she saw hitting the ground, and she was outta here! ..Was all she was saying.

And she didn't even know this guy!

Her agitation and his tension now combined to get her talking and she just opened her mouth and started.

"Don't worry so much". He stopped fidgeting and looked at her, "Excuse me?".

"Don't worry so much", Meredith repeated, "She said she loves you, right?". He looked at her in a not-understanding way, so she elaborated. "Cristina would never leave you, not when you love her and she loves you". "She's loyal to a fault, you know".

He nodded, appreciating the comfort she was trying to give him. If only loyalty would be enough to keep a human being alive! He shook his head, refusing to let the images arise.

"I'm her Person, did you know that?', it came from across the table, in a slightly defiant tone. Grateful for the distraction he focused on Dr. Grey again, she was fixing him with narrowed eyes he saw. "I know, I saw you two fight". That made her eyes turn to slits, "What is that supposed to mean?!". He kept his voice gentle, "only people who love each other fight like that, only some one you love can hurt you with a few words". Meredith looked down, remembering the jab she'd given her friend, right in front of this man. She knew she'd hurt her Cristina that day.

"Yes, she's my Person, and I love her", she couldn't help making a face while she said it, and Owen felt his lips twitch. These two were really made for each other, though little things that they were.

The twitch became a full blown smile at the thought of the expression on Cristina's face if he'd ever call her that out loud.

Meredith looked up and catching the smile, she understood what drew her friend to this man. This smile erased the sombre, pained figure that barked commands, managing the trauma unit with grim expertise. In it's place was a devastatingly handsome man, with a sparkle in his blue, blue eyes, that told her who he was thinking about.

"And now, you love her too", it was not so much a question, as it was an assertion, and he met her eyes, still not speaking.

"You don't seem very shiny or happy", and he felt his face fall, unable to deny the charge.

"That should definitively help", Meredith went on, as if talking to herself.

Taken aback, Owen waited for what was to come, a part of him immensely enjoying the fact that his life was now normal enough for him to get the Best-Friend speech.

"You're not happy", she ticked of the points on her fingers, "You're not Cardio, which is good". She gave him an empathic look, "Seriously good, because cardio is _her _thing and people' ll start to really talk this time". Not giving him the chance to react, even though he showed no signs of wanting to, she looked away and continued. "You're hot and badass enough for her", he felt the smile come back as she rolled her eyes. "that makes you a hot, twisty, non cardio _attending_, but with all the rest that is going on in this place, the Chief could hardly object".

Now her look turned very suspicious, fixing him harder than ever before, "What's the deal here?". "Logic has it, something must be wrong with you, maybe you're a secret sexist?, you want six children and force Cristina to home school all of them? His eyes widened in amused surprise. "Want your mother to live with you once you're married?', that sobered him right up again. "Come on, you might as well tell me right away and save us both a lot of trouble".

He understood she was serious now.

"We may have fought, and I may have hurt her. But I'll be _damned_ if I'm going to let any one else hurt her, especially like that". He thought he knew what she meant, and his idea was confirmed by the words that followed. "You heard her! That asshole pushed her all the way to the altar before he finally realised she couldn't give him what he wanted".

She had his full attention and realised, she shouldn't say anything more about Burke, that wasn't the issue here anyway, just an aggravating circumstance.

She frowned, "I don't know how you..", pausing, she tried anew.

"I didn't think that I would ever hear her tell a man she loves him". She hesitated a moment, then decided to go on, "I've never heard her say it before. I don't care how drugged up she was, she had to mean it to say it".

At her words, Owen felt an immense joy expanding around his heart, but still he kept silent, waiting to hear if there was more.

"You can't leave her, or change her, or take her for granted", her voice became a little shrill, as she realised those assurances were impossible to give. She felt she should explain. "She _is_ loyal, and brave". "She doesn't lie or cheat, she has high standards, please don't disappoint her".

He opened his mouth, not sure what he was going to say. "I..", what was there but the truth?

"I love her, I promised her forty years, and I keep my promises".

Meredith was flabbergasted, and at the same time, completely sure he was telling the truth. She stared at him for a couple of seconds, before breaking into a smile, and reaching for her coffee. "I guess I'd better get used to you, in that case". She leaned back, relaxing, and he did the same. For a moment they sat there, feeling as though they had come to an understanding.

Then the reality hit him and he nearly dislocated his shoulder, jerking his arm towards his body to check his watch. A full twenty-three minutes had passed already! Meredith had checked her watch as well and got up, "We'll try and walk real slow, yeah?". He nodded "After you Dr. Grey". She didn't move however, "I'm afraid it's Meredith now, Owen".

It felt very weird to be addressed as such, and she noticed. "I won't call you that in work situations, but if we're going to be loving the same person for the next forty years, you'll have to call me Meredith, or it'll just get creepy".

He shrugged of his unease. Another part of him, reeled back into this world. Another barrier, the fall of which, would leave him that much more exposed.

But this was Cristina's person, and there shouldn't be any barriers in her inner circle. No good for him either, to hide forever, standing on the sidelines. So he smiled, and gestured; "After you, Meredith.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Mr. Love Of My Life.

The update had been good news, and ten minutes later Cristina was rolled into the recovery room. Against all protocol, Owen joined her there. Nobody had been fool hearty enough to try and stop him. Not with that look on his face.

He'd been very careful not to disturb her, just seeing her took away the pressure on his chest that had made it increasingly hard to breathe over the last hours.

After checking her chart, and making sure all had gone well, he had allowed himself the barest of kisses, needing to let her feel his love through that tiny physical contact.

Then he had settled down in the chair next to the bed, listening to her breathing. Even dozing off at times, now that she was right here with him again.

He wasn't called away, unbeknown to Cristina he had taken this part of the day off, and mercifully, no big trauma's had come in.

Standing up and walking over to look at her once more, a part of him told him he was now a ridiculous, old, man. A nervous wreck, to get terrified over a simple procedure. But looking at her face, so peaceful, surrounded by those curls, another voice won out. Wouldn't he be a damned fool if he _wasn't_ terrified?!. How much blood did you have to see, and how many people could you lose at once, before taking life, and the people you loved seriously?.

What bigger risk was there in this world than to lose the people you love?. Some people would say, he lost his nerve, lost his perspective. When in fact, for all the demons that tore into him at times, there was nothing wrong with his perspective, not were Cristina was concerned.. Just as she would sense his fear, even through the sedation, and try to comfort him. So did he always see her, and wanted to make her happy, even in the darkest, most painful times. He would have to be crazy not to fear her being cut open.

She moved a little, making a sound, and then slept on again. He relaxed even more, glad to see her stir and no longer lie there, completely motionless.

Retreating to the chair once more, he thought of the revelations of that morning.

She had been pregnant and had lost the baby, and a fallopian tube. Had she wanted the baby? It didn't seem like a child would fit into the life she so clearly wanted for herself. That didn't mean she hadn't been heartbroken.

And then there apparently had been a fiancé, the biggest idiot in the world, since he'd left her. That was a real Shock. The idea of their first meeting, and what it would have been like, had she been married to another, made his stomach turn and propelled him out of the chair.

The mere thought had his heart racing, palms sweaty, a bad taste in his mouth. The attraction between them, the understanding during their brief conversation about mistakes, they would have existed regardless. Of that, he was sure. Their connection could never be stopped by a wedding ring or a piece of paper. But her loyalty and both of their decency would have made their love as good as impossible.

He realised she must have been terribly hurt by the break up, but he could not regret it.

The fiancé led him to the part where she'd jokingly mentioned proposing to him. And his thoughts stopped, right there.

A feeling of pure elation bubbled up inside of him, with a strength that send him pacing the room again, smiling now.

He looked at her , "God! He loved this woman!"

He knew it had been just a fleeting thought, retold as a joke in a drug induced state. But the fact that it had even crossed her mind, left him burning with joy and love.

He wondered for the first time, what her reaction would be. He'd have to tell her what she'd said. It had been too much, and too important, for her not to know that he was informed.

Sighing a little, he caressed her cheek, "I love you Cristina". Still asleep, she turned her head, trapping his fingers against the pillow, and he stood like that for minutes, just taking her in. Storing up on this feeling of love and peace, for the bad times that would come for him.

That's how Bailey found them when she came to check, and she waited for him to sit down before going in. not wanting to disturb what was obviously a private moment.

"Dr. Hunt", she nodded, and he stood up again when she entered the room. "Everything all right here?". She was looking at Cris and her stat's as she said it, satisfying herself all was well, before turning around for his answer. He smiled easier, now that Cristina was fine. "She seems to be doing good, Dr. Bailey, looks like you did an excellent job". Warm blue eyes met brown ones, "thank you", he was sincere and very, very handsome. Miranda smiled at him, "You're welcome, I told you; she's my girl too". He shot her a look from the corner of his eyes, not sure if she felt he owed her an explanation. She just turned to face him and smiled some more. "I've got patients to check on, I'll leave her with you, in good hands". For a moment she hesitated, opening her mouth as if to speak, then seemed to think the better of it. She nodded again and left.

Owen watched her go, with admiration. There was another one that would do great in the army. They'd have to start her of as a One Star General though, no way she'd do it for less.

To his surprise he felt a big grin on his face, thinking about her.

Shaking his head, still smiling he walked back towards the bed and saw Cristina was looking at him.

"Hey", came her voice, all hoarse and soft, like a cat's tongue on his ear. "can I finally have coffee now?!". And he laughed.

***

"I love you", she felt his lips move against hers as he said it, and a thrill went down her soul. She kept her eyes closed, letting her lips feel the form of his cheek, his lips. Leaving a trail of light, warm kisses. "I love you too".

She had rested while he went to work, and after their shifts had ended, he and Meredith had pushed her across the street in the wheelchair. Taking leave to return the thing, Meredith had wished them a good night. And Owen had carried her up the stairs. Since then, she had not been allowed to leave the couch.

He sat up and kept his hand in her hair. She smiled and resumed the conversation;

"So you were flirting with my friend, while I was being cut open, and you are now you two are on a first name basis, that's just great". And gave her patented eye roll.

She tried to keep her voice light, but it still betrayed some tension as she went on. "I hope, at least, she did her job, and didn't let me pull an O'Malley?".

He paused for a moment, not sure where to start, and she picked up on it immediately. "What?!".

"Cristina.., Meredith did good, but I screwed up". He drew a deep breath and removed his hand from her curls. "Bailey didn't notice me come in, she was talking about the previous operation you've had in this hospital". He didn't want to say the words but watched her closely as the realisation hit her. The pain in her face hurt him, still he kept going, "I'm sorry Cristina, I shouldn't have been there, but I couldn't stay away, I shouldn't have heard that".

She just stared at him, waiting. "I'm sorry you lost the baby, lost the tube".

Holding his gaze she replied, "I didn't want the baby", then, taking his hand back, "but it was still bad".

After some time passed in silence, he asked, "can you forgive me?". She gave his hand a little squeeze, "I don't believe you did this on purpose, so; we're good". Flashing him a smile and trying to lighten the mood she asked, "Anything else I need to know?".

He looked aside, considering, then looked back at her. He let those blue eyes search her face, like only they could. Before smiling all tenderly.

And, giving a little shrug, he decided to appeal to her sense of humour.

"Well, there was the part where you forgave Bailey for telling the Love of your Life, me, about your medical history". She gave him an incredulous stare, not sure if he was joking or not, but he just smiled.

"Then there's the bit telling bailey just to keep her mouth shut about the fiancé and breaking up at the church". Her expression turned to stone, body rigid, and he rushed on. "That was of course just before you told the Chief, it was no wonder SGH is nr. Twelve, with the privacy leaks and long wait". He couldn't help but smile, as her expression changed again, to unbelieving horror, this time.

And in the flow of the moment, he cast all caution to the winds. "You also proposed, by the way". Now she went completely limp against the pillows, and very, very still.

He let his eyes caress her face once more, "and I accepted".

***

It was quiet for a full minute while Cristina searched his eyes for some clues to this madness he had just unleashed upon her.

*

The love of her life? Yeah.., she bought it. It was not her style, but then, he brought out a Cristina she hadn't seen in decades. So, yeah, she bought it. It was absolutely embarrassing, given the circumstances though, she'd live.

*

Knowing she told him about Preston…, Hell!, that wasn't even so bad. At least it sounded stress-free, and for good measure, she had been anesthetised. It had literally been pain free. Still, he must have questions.

*

Telling the Chief he was running a number twelve joint was bad, There again, though, the drugs came in handy. She'd never known they were so useful. Usually she resorted to alcohol to smooth over emotional painful situations.

*

Proposing to Owen Hunt?

Asking Owen to spend the rest of his life, loving and honouring her?

She didn't know what to think of that. It wasn't that she didn't believe herself capable of asking. She knew it was what part of her wanted. But now? And on a drugged-out whim?

"I don't remember", her eyes met his in all honesty, waiting for his reaction.

He had felt his reason return to him, while waiting in silence. He wasn't sure what reaction he'd hoped for. "I know, I knew when you said it ", he smiled ruefully. I guess I got carried away with the surprises". Adding, after a moment, "I told you I want to be there in forty years, the how and what don't really matter".

She kissed his hand, relieved that this wasn't a problem. Nothing really seemed a problem when it came to the two of them loving each other. Not fiancés, or botched proposals, No ghosts or demons, past or present.

She settled deeper into the pillows,"Good, because marriage is a big deal, and I don't feel ready just yet". He smiled at her, "Me neither, but the forty years are still on, regardless".

They shared a look that acknowledged promises without speaking.

A growl from Cristina's tummy was clearly audible in the silence between them, and she laughed. "What about getting your girl something to eat, Mr. Love of my Life?"

His heart skipped ever so lightly, at hearing himself addressed like that. Leaning over he kissed her with all the love he could convey, without spontaneously combusting.

"Don't move!". Walking to the kitchen, he left Cristina on the couch, purring like a kitten.


End file.
